OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
