Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
