Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
