it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
