Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
what day is it and did you see me today?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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