i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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