one might say we're banned from that church
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
