You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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