So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
