Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
