even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
