If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
