I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
