Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
