I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I cut my penus on the lid.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
