you guys were way drunker than both of me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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