we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
