I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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