I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
