Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
