This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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