So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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