Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
