I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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