i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
