i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
