if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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