why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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