can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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