I have demons in me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Still dying that you shit outside
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
