Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
