There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
