i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
