1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
