How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
