I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
