She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
