she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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