Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
