Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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