that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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