I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
