Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
