i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
