I can tuck mytits in my pants
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need a beard to bite.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
