I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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