You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
