Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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