please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
