so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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