Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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