how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
