I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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