Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
